A familiar face — and name — is back on the ballot as Official Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Sir Grumpus L Shorticus sets out his latest eye-catching manifesto for the Senedd Cymru elections.

Standing in the Bangor, Conwy and Môn constituency, Sir Grumpus is no stranger to voters in the region. He previously contested Ynys Môn in 2024, polling 156 votes — a result that, while modest, firmly planted the Loony Party flag once again in North Wales politics.

Now he’s back, and if anything, the pledges are even bigger, bolder — and more gloriously absurd.

From redesigning the A55 by shrinking cars, to reintroducing dragons to Eryri, and even renaming the Isle of Man the “Isle of Person”, Sir Grumpus’s platform sticks closely to the party’s long-standing tradition: using humour and satire to poke fun at the political establishment.

His full list of pledges reads like this:

10 Senedd Pledges to YOU

1 UPGRADE THE A55 EXPRESSWAY
We will upgrade the North Wales Expressway to an eight-lane super-highway by legislating to halve the width of vehicles – with the added benefit of making single-track roads a thing of the past.

2 CLOSER TIES WITH THE EU
In a hand of friendship and trust, we will allow EU visitors to drive on the right.

3 WALES’S HIGHEST PEAK
We will increase the height of Snowdon / Yr Wyddfa by sinking a 1,000 foot trench around the range ensuring its future as the highest mountain in the British Isles.

4 THE NATURAL ENVIRONMENT
The Snowdonia Trench complete, this newly created perimeter will allow us to reintroduce Dragons to the Eryri National Park.

5 SECURITY IN A TURBULENT WORLD
We will buy or if opposed, annex the Isle of Man. Wales needs the territory for its financial security and bitcoin mining. In the interests of equality, it will be renamed the Isle of Person.

6 VOLATILE GLOBAL MARKETS
We will repeal the Laws of Physics to end globalisation in favour of the longer-established Flat Earth model (which served us better for millennia).

7 A TRULY UNITED KINGDOM
We will trade Scotland and Northern Ireland to the EU and incorporate England as the 23rd county/borough of Wales.

8 SUNDAY VALUES
We will reduce Sundays to 6 hours thus shortening hangovers.

9 INTERNATIONAL STANCE
We will lobby the United Nations to make it criminal in international law to compare any area to – ‘the size of Wales’.

10 M.A.G.A. MOVEMENT
We will MAKE ANGLESEY GREAT AGAIN.
We will rename Cardigan Bay and the Irish Sea beyond, The Gulf of Wales.

While few would expect these proposals to make it into government policy any time soon, the Loony Party’s tongue-in-cheek approach has long carved out a niche in British politics — offering voters a moment of levity, and perhaps the occasional pointed jab at more serious manifestos.

And if nothing else, Sir Grumpus has once again ensured that this Senedd race won’t be short on entertainment.